A good friend shared this (link below) with me after I told him about what I like to call 'Comparism'. We humans do it all the time, in every aspect of life, but to be happy you do not need more (yeah, I know thats a common Platitude but hear me out); more just implies greater than something else, and usually that need to have more is a derivative process resulting from comaparism (the need to compare what you have [or are] with others).
The problem is once you get into that habit of comparing it will never end, today you will want more money than Tom, tomorrow you will want a car bigger than Dicks and then you will want a job or wife better than Harry's. Oh, but it doesn't end there; then you want to be faster than Bolt, sexier than [who ever is considered sexy these days] or as powerful as the American president. Some of the things, you will be able to achieve, others you wont be able to. In either case however, if your initial motivation was derived from comaparism it wont give you any lasting happiness. The later situation is obvious; if you cant become as sexier than Scarlet Johansson you are gonna feel the pain of your your constructed sexy-lessness if not uglyness for as long as you keep comparing! (I remember Scarlet being on some list last year; probably it has changed but you get my point). In the former scenario, if you are able to become as powerful as the American president, maybe you will start envying Gadafi for all the young girls that he got to sleep with (or as we now know, raped!) and sleep with your secretary!
Anyhow, I guess you get my point; We need to stop comparing if we want to be truly happy and free. That does not mean you should not want more or strive to be better, or have the need to earn more or keep in shape. All I am saying is comparison shouldn't be the driving force behind your motivation to do all those things. We can only be free once we stop comparing.
I know its hard and thats because we are hard wired in such a way but if you remind yourself to take a step back and rethink every time a situation arises where you can see that comparison plays a part in you motivation to want that thing or to want more. Yes, retract your initial motivation, recoil even if you are sure the motivation was out of comparison and then ask yourself do you really want that thing (or more of that thing). Take Tom, Dick or Harry out of the picture, then do you really want it? If yes, then go for it!
http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2007/04/04/the-joy-of-economics.html
The problem is once you get into that habit of comparing it will never end, today you will want more money than Tom, tomorrow you will want a car bigger than Dicks and then you will want a job or wife better than Harry's. Oh, but it doesn't end there; then you want to be faster than Bolt, sexier than [who ever is considered sexy these days] or as powerful as the American president. Some of the things, you will be able to achieve, others you wont be able to. In either case however, if your initial motivation was derived from comaparism it wont give you any lasting happiness. The later situation is obvious; if you cant become as sexier than Scarlet Johansson you are gonna feel the pain of your your constructed sexy-lessness if not uglyness for as long as you keep comparing! (I remember Scarlet being on some list last year; probably it has changed but you get my point). In the former scenario, if you are able to become as powerful as the American president, maybe you will start envying Gadafi for all the young girls that he got to sleep with (or as we now know, raped!) and sleep with your secretary!
Anyhow, I guess you get my point; We need to stop comparing if we want to be truly happy and free. That does not mean you should not want more or strive to be better, or have the need to earn more or keep in shape. All I am saying is comparison shouldn't be the driving force behind your motivation to do all those things. We can only be free once we stop comparing.
I know its hard and thats because we are hard wired in such a way but if you remind yourself to take a step back and rethink every time a situation arises where you can see that comparison plays a part in you motivation to want that thing or to want more. Yes, retract your initial motivation, recoil even if you are sure the motivation was out of comparison and then ask yourself do you really want that thing (or more of that thing). Take Tom, Dick or Harry out of the picture, then do you really want it? If yes, then go for it!
http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2007/04/04/the-joy-of-economics.html
